How about a LIKE for YOU ;) ;)

Ladies, let’s face it. We rock! We rule! Strong and capable warriors wrapped up in nurturing caregiver packages, we get it done. We get it all done. We are amazing.

Now, if we could just remember this! Although realistically, “How could we?” Messages telling us we are somehow “not-enough” inundate us regularly. Constant communications bombard us to lose ten, freeze off our flab, flatten our tummies and augment ourselves in ways, well in ways too many to address, just to be OK let alone awesome.

In a world where media messages tell us to change who we are to matter, we can feel pressured to have a certain body shape or smoother looks. Striving constantly to uphold a standard of excellence and perfection that is next to impossible, we seem to have lost sight of who it is we are trying so hard to impress. Perhaps this is because of all the suggestions “out there” that we are somehow limited. “Change to conform,” they say. “Weigh less to be more.” “Alter your bodies to be more appealing.” “Tweak your looks to something better, but whatever you do change ladies change!”

These messages tell us, often all too subliminally, that our number one goal should be to kowtow to a societal ideal that is confusing. On one hand, dress size, there is a very small number attached, on the other, breast shape, a very large one. These numbers are actually nothing more than a set-up, but they are nevertheless in place, put there by some faceless, nameless rule-makers out in the world, imaginary rule-makers at that. Ones who cause havoc with our self-esteem and sense of security regularly. These rule-makers are not real. They do not exist. Do not buy in. You do not have to.

Collective standards teach us that we are in some way competing with one another as we follow dictates hypnotically. We may as well be walking off cliffs because we are not truly sure who is leading us, yet still we follow. We get behind the bandwagon with the most clicks or tweets or likes, often even before we have formed our own opinion. In doing so, we set up a model based on fluff and lacking substance, yet its templates are cookie cutter – Marketing 101. We blindly buy in to clever ploys designed to sell products and keep us buying.

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Have you ever taken a moment to ask yourself what it is you are really getting when you do this “buying in?” Is it not actually more stress than relief that rings up with your sale? Stress to be … well, whatever it is they tell you is the right way to be for now. Do not get too comfortable with your purchase though people, because whatever it is will surely change fast. So much time gets wasted keeping up that it makes me wonder, “How can we even be who we are supposed to be? Who the heck has time when we are so busy figuring out how to look like everybody else?”

How might you feel if you simply relaxed into being yourself? If you really want to “buy in” to something amazing, buy every inch of you. In doing so, you will be heading towards a much deeper existence than “survival of the fittest.” Consider what it even means to be “fit.” Merriam Webster’s definition of the word includes the following:  “adapted to the environment as to be capable of surviving; acceptable from a particular viewpoint, put into a suitable state; adapted to an end of design; suitable by nature or art; sound physically and mentally.”

So considering key words in this definition, “fitting in” would seem to involve much more than your dress size, breast shape or the flatness of your tummy. If “surviving” involves being acceptable from “a particular viewpoint,” why not decide to start making that acceptable viewpoint your own? Opt to be suitable for you. When you make a decision to fit, to “adapt” into your own beautiful package, to feel “suitable” from your own “viewpoint,” a shift takes place, one of self-acceptance and self-love. Within that framework lies an opportunity to honor all that you already are, exactly as you are. The result:  healthy mind, healthy body, healthy spirit, healthy world and a life that can then be about so much more than just “fitting in” or “surviving,” but thriving.

How do you get there? It can be difficult to imagine if you have spent years beating yourselves up over what you see as your proprietary flaws, “I wish my body were different. I wish I looked like “her” or “her” or her.” How about putting down the “how you look” baseball bat today and deciding, “This is who I am. This is what I’ve got and as of right now, I am rocking it.” Why not, “Yay Me! I am the prize baby, and by the way, I am so much more than OK with it.”

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Imagine the difference it would make in your life if right here, right now you began honoring your body as lovely. Think of how good it would feel to stand before the mirror and imagine yourself clicking “like” for you. Never mind how many times a day you click it for others. Try for an attitude of approval for yourself instead of dismay for what you perceive you are not. Consider the shift in your energy today, at this moment, if you accepted yourself, your very own self, the whole shebang, (love handles, tummy, stretch marks, wrinkles, blemishes, whatever, all of it) as being perfect. What would your day be like then? How would it be different if you went out to do your tasks being proud of the person you were in all of your “amazing-ness” instead of frustrated about not looking better while you tried?

I hope you will join in, will come together with all of the rest of us out here trying not to buy in. We need you. We really do. Will you please join us?

Love,

Your Soul Sisters

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~ Honoring Where Love Comes From ~

In a prior blog I wrote about not getting stuck in frustration because love isn’t coming from where you think it should and honoring where it is coming from.

That hit home for me today. I was loved and honored. I was validated and reminded that all is right and good in my world today. I was not judged, not even for an instant and I was set free from a crippling need to be right in a situation that was not mine to be right in. I was heard and was told that we all sometimes are afraid and we all make mistakes once in awhile. I was guided back to my core of serenity – gently, gracefully and patiently and reminded to have gratitude for how much I have and how far I have come.

I was Loved.

Once again today I was gently nudged by my soul sister, nudged to look towards the direction of God’s arms which were wide open and ready to embrace me. And ever so graciously, I was told that because I overlooked that they were also wide open yesterday, and I forgot to be grateful then, it doesn’t mean I failed.

I was Honored.

When I shared that yesterday’s truth was shadowed in an instant and triggers rose so rapidly that everything I know to be real and true and good was negated, I was told that “it’s OK.” After speaking about my need to be protected, winning over proof that there was nothing to be protected from, I received a smile and a nod of understanding. And when I expressed that I forgot to remember that we are all doing the best we can and already are perfect in the eyes of our Creator, I was reminded that “I am human.” I was shown very gently, that I do not today, or ever have to apologize for stumbling, because we all do sometimes.

I was Validated.

After sharing that sometimes what I “feel” seems so true, even though I know that “feelings aren’t facts,” we were able to chuckle. And confiding that “somewhere deep down in the recesses beyond my need to be right,” I know that I am often wrong,” provided us with a belly laugh. Then, when I asked why these feelings, these emotions sometimes become so palpable that they take over, I was offered a hug. And in the next moment I was thanked for a time long before today, when I had been able to love, to honor and to validate my beautiful soul sister in the same way she was doing for me today. A time when I was remembering all the good things there are to remember and was grateful. A time where I wasn’t forgetting.

And all of that, to me, is Love. The listening, the hearing, the speaking, the laughter, the hugs, the tears and the smiles. The sharing, the reminding, the hard truth, the soft landings, the back and forth and the taking turns with all of it. And right now I am focused on where I got this Love from today and not on where I didn’t get it from yesterday because of all the human-ness that got in the way.

And now I know, again, until I forget and need another reminder, that if or when I become stuck in “how something makes me feel” so rapidly that everything else falls away, I will get through. And if my feelings try to take on a life of their own and I start to lose sight of God’s open arms or of how much there is to be grateful for, I can remember today’s chuckle or smile or hug.
I think I can. Wait, I’m sure I can. Because I was Honored. I was Validated. I am Loved.